Deep humiliation before the Father and deep repentance before the Son

"And Peter...went out, and wept bitterly." (Matt. 26:75).

The Passover lamb lived in the house, binding itself to the family's hearts. Theirs was an agrarian society so no one could be unfamiliar with the gentleness of the sheep, and especially of the innocent lambs.  After four days Jehovah had commanded that that loving animal be slain, who, without discrimination, only ever loved every person in the house. Nothing else but the death of a loved one who represented the Son of God, could create in them sorrow for sin. The same was true for Abel and Adam. This is why the people of God were given the agrarian life. Brokenness of heart was everything to the holy God. And their humbling and repentance was the only reason Jehovah could pardon them, individually and as a nation. This requirement has not changed for today's Israel of God, His church. 

When was the last time we did like Peter after he denied his beloved Master, when Jesus had the greatest need for His friend's loyalty and sympathy and to see a model of virtue and self-sacrifice, which He had trained Peter to be? And, seeing his Master look at him having the same tender, unchanged love that He had always had, Peter was totally ashamed and revolting at his act of betrayal. 

And sorry to no end, the despairing disciple ran back to where he last saw Jesus, and fell on the same spot, digging his fingers into the dewy earth in total anguish and wishing to do it all over again right, but hopeless to see that wish come true. The rest of that night, sobbing and wrestling and hating self, and wanting judgment day to happen then and there.

Peter, for the first time, saw himself as God saw him, as he really was. And the sight was a horror movie. In his vile wretchedness he passed in review before all heaven and Earth. It was Judgment Day, and forever afterward Judgment would abide on his head.

This experience, like none other in all his discipleship, prepared Peter for the ministry that Jesus needed for preparing the world to hear the truth about His Father and His coming eternal kingdom. All self-dependence, all self-confidence, must be pulled up by the roots, no matter how painful that would be.

The coming kingdom would be holy, no particle of self will exist there. Therefore no misrepresentation of true holiness can be permissible in the continuing work of making more disciples until Jesus would return. 

Now here we are, down at the other end of the work of cooperating in garnering people who will make up the kingdom. Are we in the same need to be tested as the disciples were during Christ's first ministry? Are we hearing about the big trials ahead, but letting it just go in one and out the other, just like the disciples did?

How else than by reliving Peter's terrible deed, and fearing to do the same, can we keep from repeating it. All our preparation for the big test ahead must come by remembering how Jesus' closest companions fled from laying down their lives for Him and His Father, and for Their eternal kingdom, and then wrestling before the accusations of the straight testimony of the true Witness. How else than by seriously fearing to bale out at the end.

"I saw some, with strong faith and agonizing cries, pleading with God. Their countenances were pale and marked with deep anxiety, expressive of their internal struggle. Firmness and great earnestness was expressed in their countenances; large drops of perspiration fell from their foreheads. Now and then their faces would light up with the marks of God's approbation, and again the same solemn, earnest, anxious look would settle upon them.

Evil angels crowded around, pressing darkness upon them to shut out Jesus from their view, that their eyes might be drawn to the darkness that surrounded them, and thus they be led to distrust God and murmur against Him. Their only safety was in keeping their eyes directed upward. Angels of God had charge over His people, and as the poisonous atmosphere of evil angels was pressed around these anxious ones, the heavenly angels were continually wafting their wings over them to scatter the thick darkness.

As the praying ones continued their earnest cries, at times a ray of light from Jesus came to them, to encourage their hearts and light up their countenances. Some, I saw, did not participate in this work of agonizing and pleading. They seemed indifferent and careless. They were not resisting the darkness around them, and it shut them in like a thick cloud. The angels of God left these and went to the aid of the earnest, praying ones. I saw angels of God hasten to the assistance of all who were struggling with all their power to resist the evil angels and trying to help themselves by calling upon God with perseverance. But His angels left those who made no effort to help themselves, and I lost sight of them.

I asked the meaning of the shaking I had seen and was shown that it would be caused by the straight testimony called forth by the counsel of the True Witness to the Laodiceans. This will have its effect upon the heart of the receiver, and will lead him to exalt the standard and pour forth the straight truth....

I asked the meaning of the shaking I had seen and was shown that it would be caused by the straight testimony called forth by the counsel of the True Witness to the Laodiceans. This will have its effect upon the heart of the receiver, and will lead him to exalt the standard and pour forth the straight truth. Some will not bear this straight testimony. They will rise up against it, and this is what will cause a shaking among God's people.

I saw that the testimony of the True Witness has not been half heeded. The solemn testimony upon which the destiny of the church hangs has been lightly esteemed, if not entirely disregarded. This testimony must work deep repentance; all who truly receive it will obey it and be purified.

Said the angel, 'List ye!' Soon I heard a voice like many musical instruments all sounding in perfect strains, sweet and harmonious. It surpassed any music I had ever heard, seeming to be full of mercy, compassion, and elevating, holy joy. It thrilled through my whole being. Said the angel, 'Look ye!' My attention was then turned to the company I had seen, who were mightily shaken. I was shown those whom I had before seen weeping and praying in agony of spirit. The company of guardian angels around them had been doubled, and they were clothed with an armor from their head to their feet. They moved in exact order, like a company of soldiers. Their countenances expressed the severe conflict which they had endured, the agonizing struggle they had passed through. Yet their features, marked with severe internal anguish, now shone with the light and glory of heaven. They had obtained the victory, and it called forth from them the deepest gratitude and holy, sacred joy.

The numbers of this company had lessened. Some had been shaken out and left by the way. The careless and indifferent, who did not join with those who prized victory and salvation enough to perseveringly plead and agonize for it, did not obtain it, and they were left behind in darkness, and their places were immediately filled by others taking hold of the truth and coming into the ranks. Evil angels still pressed around them, but could have no power over them." Early Writings, p. 269-271.

If we aren't reliving Peter's terrible night, and if we aren't admitting to ourselves of being no better, no braver, than the disciples, then we will end up foolish virgins without the extra experience of humiliation and without repentance for all our unfaithfulness, and we will not be able to get that experience when danger is ever present. We will be too busy running and hiding in our own upper room. That won't be excusable at the last test.

But, if we play around with this issue, make no mistake, Jesus will have people waiting on Him when He comes in His Father's glory. But if we fail to heed the Spirit of Prophecy, we will be left in the dark, empty of the oil of His Spirit, and hoping It will lighten our hearts at the very end. But we will be scripural statistics. We will cry out for some mercy to those who afflicted their souls while Jesus was near, and agonized before Him in His straight testimony while He could be found as a Comforter and Transformer. 

And we will hear the helpful, yet,  horrific news, "Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves." (Matt. 25:9).