From child of wrath to child of the heavenly King

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5DOcIYOWcE, minute 1:04:20-1:28:24

Here is a young lady who makes it very clear that drug abusers, whether street drugs or prescription drugs, are simply trying to numb the pain of rejection from living in a world without love. But, beyond this world’s love, they need an infinitely greater, eternal, omniscient, omnipotent love from their Creator. The greatest need in America today is to be reconnected to the God of the original Protestant Reformation, which we left and which has been under attack in America especially since the beginning of the Advent movement. At our beginning God let loose Satan, and his hosts of demons and Jesuits, from the bottomless pit to torment Protestant Americans by taking away our faith in Jesus, and were sent forth to bring Protestant America down, to obliterate Protestants, their Law and gospel King James Bible, their Protestant peace-giving, liberty-loving Constitution and peaceful government, and, of course, their Protestant, biblical religion. And now we are fully corrupted and God has forced us to choose who we will serve.

So here is the child of wrath turned daughter of the God of heaven:

I’m going to try and share my testimony because I’ve never done this before. But I really need to because so many people I know that are going to see this that are not saved. And I know there’s people that have been through so much, there’s people who are still doing drugs, there’s people that are drinking, there’s people that have been rejected by their mothers, their fathers, their loved ones, those who have been hurt throughout their lives by loved ones that we should be able to trust. And I just want to give God glory and share my testimony with you and tell you all the amazing things He has done for me because He has really, really done amazing things for me. I mean if I said everything it would be a long video. But I want to try and give a brief testimony of the things that Jesus Christ has done for me.

Now if you know me you know that before I was saved I used to do drugs. I used to experiment with drugs. I was completely the opposite of someone that you would expect to be completely sold out for Jesus. Like, I was completely against it. I wasn’t against it, but I wanted nothing to do with it. And just He has done such amazing things for me I don’t know where to start.

Basically, when I was a teenager I got involved with smoking marijuana. And you know how they say that that’s like a gateway drug. It totally is. I started smoking marijuana. And in high school I started experimenting more. I mean i didn’t [experiment with] other drugs, but I started smoking more marijuana. And I was more attracted the dark things of the world. Like I was into listening to punk, I was ditching school. I wanted nothing to do with anything good. I was such a rebellious person I always felt like I was the black sheep of the family. I felt rejected, I never had a father in my life. He left when I was three or five years old. He cheated on my mom and he left us and he basically wanted nothing to do with us. I was always rejected. And I am also adopted, so I think I’ve had that rejection since I was in the womb.

I knew I was loved by my mom who adopted us because… I know that she loves us. But it’s just that rejection that came into us from the womb., it’s always been with me my whole life. I always looked for love in the wrong places. I looked for love from people that didn’t love or didn’t know how to love.  I tried to cover my emotions with drugs. I always liked to isolate myself. I liked to be alone. I was very heavy in the imagination.

I eventually I started experimenting with crystal meth. And I got addicted to it. That’s a serious drug. And after that it went downhill. I’m honestly surprised that my daughter didn’t get taken away from me because I was doing some pretty bad stuff. I was even at the point where I stole stuff. Like my mom used to have a bunch of silver coins. And basically I went in and I sold all of them. And I bought drugs with them. I mean I bought other things with them like materialistic stuff. But just the fact that I took something that wasn’t mine…. AND I SPENT IT ALL ON DRUGS. IT WAS HORRIBLE.

And I was even into the New Age movement. Like I had a Ouija board since I was in seventh grade or eighth grade. My mom got it for me from Toys-R-Us. And I was always so interested in it. I was attracted to it. I was attracted to that kind of stuff. And I would always play it and I would tell my friends to play it with me. And you know, we would play it, and all of this weird, creepy stuff would happen. And I was into palm reading, horoscopes, and tarot cards even. There was even a time when I owned a satanic “Bible” supposedly. And, thank God, I mean I only read a page or two. But my friend made me throw it away. I thank God that he did. I was even at the point like I was interested in becoming Muslim. I even have a picture of where I had a head covering, or whatever. It was like Satan was taking such advantage of that that I thank God that He saved me from all of that. Because I was so lost. And I needed love. I needed to feel loved. I’ve been hurt by so many people. And I liked the fact that people were scared of that kind of stuff, like satanic stuff, and all that Wiccan stuff.

I had such hate in my heart. Like I would even want to learn that stuff to bring that stuff upon other people. But I remember when I was twelve I gave my life to Jesus.

1:10:33…I remember when I was 12 I gave my life to Jesus. But I didn’t have anybody to teach me about Him. I was at my dad’s house at that time and on vacation for a month. And his neighbor was Christian.  And I remember saying the sinner’s [repentance ?] prayer and giving my life to Jesus. And I was like, “Oh yeah. I love Jesus.”

But when I got back home it ended there because my mom was Catholic. And I told her about that and she was like, “Oh we’re Catholic. They are Christian too.” And so it ended there, and I kind of forgot about that. And that’s when I went back into the world again.

I think that’s pretty much why God protected me my whole life, because I did that. Even though I didn’t take it serious at the time, like I didn’t realize what I had done. You know, God is a God that keeps His promises. He doesn’t break His covenants. He protected me. Like He brought me back home to Him. I went astray. But finally, after I got addicted to crystal meth, and like I experienced heroine. (I never shot it up, but I did smoke it.) I experienced all the drugs with exception to PCP, or whatever, and acid. I basically experienced with drugs.

And I was, at that point of my life, I was so lost. I believe someone has to hit rock bottom for them to realize that they need Jesus, and they can’t do it on their own. And you know, I’m full of tattoos. I still have holes in my ears from when I stretched them out. The devil does try to condemn me about that. But, I just rebuke him in the name of Jesus because I closed the doors of my tattoos. I repented of having them. I repented of the things I did to my body because our body is the temple of Jesus Christ. Our body is His when we give our lives to Him.

And I die daily to my skin. I die daily to my flesh. And so, you  know, yeah I have tattoos, but He’s forgiven me of them. I pray that so many of you that have been rejected by your moms and your dads and by loved ones, that have been hurt… I just pray, that you could realize how much Jesus loves you. And how much, like how much, like He’s so much bigger than us. And like I know it’s hard to forgive, it’s hard to forgive them who have hurt us. But its so important. When you forgive people who have hurt you it like a weight that’s lifted off your shoulder. That’s how I felt with my dad. I never forgave him for leaving us, and cheating on my mom. And the things that he said to me, that…he would just hurt, he hurt us. And I always resented him for that. And I always resent my birth mom for giving me up for adoption. But now that i’m saved I thank her for giving me up for adoption. I mean, if she hadn’t given me up for adoption, like who knows where I would be. You know, obviously God knows where I would be, but like who know where I would be. I would be in third world, like Guatemala. Who knows what I would be doing right now. I know I wouldn’t have the life that I have right now.

God is amazing. He worked everything out for me. He put me in a family where my mom has a good job. You know, she’s a teacher. And my grandmom blessed us with vacations and stuff. You know, like God is just amazing. Like He’s blessed me my whole life, my whole life. Like even when I didn’t have a relationship with Him, He’s always blessed me. I know He does that to almost everybody, like everybody! You know if you’re alive right now, that’s a blessing. Like, honestly no matter what you’ve been through, if you’re alive right now that’s a blessing because God’s the one that’s giving you the strength to endure and get through the things that you’re getting through.

And I know that a lot of people are going through drugs. They are using drugs to try to numb the pain because that’s what I used to do. I used to numb the pain with drugs. You know, try to hide the fact that I wanted love. I know people say, “I don’t do drugs because I’m depressed. I just like doing them.” But, think about it. If you are happy, and you know who you are, and you know that there is someone greater than we can even think of, and that we do have a God, like you wouldn’t do drugs. I mean, come on. It’s like an oxymoron. I mean how can people just do drugs for the heck of it.

I mean, He set me free. I ended up in an mental institution one time because I got into a fight with my mom over a guy. Like she refused, like…I don’t want to get into that, but like she chose a guy over me. That hurt. But, I ended up taking codeine. And I was allergic to it, but I didn’t know at the time. And I swelled up and I had to go to the emergency room.

And like they put me in an institution for three days. And when I came out they put me on Prozak. That stuff makes you like a zombie basically. And when I was on Prozak, that’s when I started doing crystal meth, actually. And my daughter, Sophia, was like 2 [years old] or so or three. That’s when I started taking crystal meth. And that’s when I met some people that got me into drugs. I’m completely responsible for it.

But, everything went downhill from there. And finally, my baby’s dad went to prison for personal reasons. But he went to prison and I found out that I was pregnant with Cassie. And that’s when I broke. I broke because I felt like I had no one, I had no one who understood what I was going through. I was even going to get an abortion. I was going to abort Cassie. It was like, I don’t want to do this on my own. I can’t have a baby right now. It’s all these thoughts, “He’s in prison. I’m going to be here by myself. I don’t have money. I already have a kid.” You know, just all these things. I even went to a psychic to look for answers. But that was even worse, because she ended up robbing me of money. And I was so lost at that point.

That’s God finally when saved me. He saved me. There was a woman that was outside the abortion clinic when I went. And she was like, “God doesn’t make mistakes. He never makes mistakes. There’s a reason why He gave you that baby.” Of course, I’m paraphrasing it. But, she said, “He never makes mistakes”. That’s what stuck with me, “He never makes mistakes.” It’s like, Duh, He never makes mistakes. I just thank God that she was there, because now I have a beautiful baby Cassidy. And I am so, so, so thankful that I didn’t go through with that.…

I just pray for conviction to be sent to whoever is listening to this, that …. I know my testimony is all over the place. But I’ve never shared my testimony with anyone. I just don’t know where to start. But basically, I’ve come from rejection. I’ve come from rebellion. I’ve had a bunch of rage. I had the most worst rage that most…that you could hardly imagine. When I would get mad, I wouldn’t just get mad, I would throw things against the wall. I would break things. I would slam doors. I was violent. I had a lot of rage in me. My mom would try to put me in anger management. She put me in therapy. You know, bless my mom’s heart for everything she endured. And not once did she kick me out or anything. She just loved me. It’s just so amazing all the things that I put my mom through. Like, all the things that we put our parents through, you know. It’s just amazing. It’s amazing God is so patient with us. It’s, it’s, it convicts you. It makes you like, Wow.

I just hope my testimony touches someone. . I mean it’s all over the place. Of course there’s more to a testimony.…

God set me free from all of that. He has helped me to see others the way that I should see them. He helps me see the positive in people.…